Unabuzzer 6: Unabuzzer Rots in Prison

Evil Petting Zoo

Jeremy Horwitz, Matthew Kaufman, and Alex Pearson


(Movies: Legit Movies — MK)

1. Tossup: Kadeem Hardison and Damon Wayans are local thugs who can't get the job done. Jim Brown has the bunion from hell. Isaac Hayes packs too much heat, and Chris Rock wants just one rib. Ah, with a cast like that, who needs a plot? FTP, name this fly movie parody from 1988 in which John Slade and Jack Spade wage battle against the forces of Mr. Big, starring Bernie Casey and Keenan Ivory Wayans.

Answer: I’m Gonna Git You Sucka

(Music — JH)

2. Tossup: Apparently instant soup isn’t good enough for Mike. More substantial alternatives, he offers, include: a can of beans or black-eyed peas, some Nescafe and ice, a candy bar, a falling star, or even a reading of Doctor Seuss. These are just some of the musings of Michael Stipe in, FTP, what song off of Automatic for the People by R.E.M.?

Answer: The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite


(Sports: Legit Sports — MK)

3. Tossup: Only the Cubs could have a bad century, but this team came close, taking 98 years to win their first World Championship. During the first half of this century, they won only two pennants, in 1915 and 1950. They found more success in the ‘70s and ‘80s, with six playoff appearances and a pennant in 1983 by the "Wheez Kids," but it was 1980 when complete success was found in the form of their only World Series triumph. FTP, name this team of destiny that defeated the Royals in 1980, which featured Steve Carlton, Pete Rose, and Mike Schmidt.

Answer: Philadelphia Phillies (accept either "Philadelphia" or "Phillies")

(TV: Kid Vid — MK)

4. Tossup: He once faked his own death by dropping a body double down a waterfall. This was unfortunate, as he also tricked his long-lost mother, who came back home to mourn her loss. He's not averse to wishing death upon others — in particular, Urkel — and he still wishes his next door neighbor was dead, despite being saved by him, a Jew and a miscellaneous from his burning house. FTP, name this man who also probably wished death upon Daryl Strawberry, an 800-pound catfish, and his overweight, unshaven sisters-in-law.

Answer: Homer J. Simpson

(Hedonism: Drugs and Fashion — AP)

5. Tossup: "[The] name is pretty much synonymous with gossip." This is how one review describes this seemingly ubiquitous columnist. FTP, name the woman behind a syndicated gossip column that runs everywhere from TV Guide Online to the New York Post.

Answer: Liz Smith

(TV: Classic TV — JH)

6. Tossup: Probably named after WWII Marine general Holland M. Smith, this pilot has worked for the CIA, been a Captain in the U.S. Army, and even flew with the Thunderbirds before Vietnam. With an invisible dog Billy, it’s not too surprising that his certifiable insanity kept him in the VA Hospital in Westwood, CA. FTP, name this A-Team pilot played by Dwight Schultz.

Answer: Captain H. M. "Howlin’ Mad" Murdock

(Movies: B-Movies — JH)

7. Tossup: Warning — two answers required! 1996’s Busted, and 1994’s National Lampoon’s Last Resort make great examples. Perhaps you forgot Dream a Little Dream and Dream a Little Dream 2. Maybe you were amused by both of them getting Nicole Eggert in a 1992 low-budget production, but they’re best known for working together in two ’80s classics. FTP, tell us who these similarly named movie stars are, both featured in License to Drive and The Lost Boys.

Answer: Corey Ian "Space Ace" Haim and Corey Feldman (prompt on "The two Coreys," etc.)

(Sports: Legit Sports — MK)

8. Tossup: In 1990, this men's basketball player led the NCAA in points per game, succeeding his stricken teammate and best friend. He led his team to the Elite 8 in the NCAA tournament, and then was drafted 8th by the Los Angeles Clippers, thereby ruining his career prospects. He bombed in the NBA and the CBA, and also found little acting success in the 1991 movie Heaven Is a Playground. FTP, name this man, star shooting guard for Loyola Marymount and good buddy of Hank Gathers.

Answer: Bo Kimble

(Sports: Spectacles and Mayhem — MK)

9. Tossup: It takes a lot of skill to blow a 32-point lead in football, but that's exactly what this team did — in the playoffs, no less — in 1992. Leading 35-3 in the third quarter of the AFC Divisional Playoffs, this team eventually went on to lose 41-38 in overtime to the eventual AFC Champions, setting an NFL record for the largest lead ever squandered in a game. FTP, name this team vanquished by the Buffalo Bills, led by Warren Moon, which was so embarrassed that it left town just four years later.

Answer: Houston Oilers (accept either "Houston" or "Oilers," but do not accept


(Movies: Legit Movies — JH)

10. Tossup: Donald Sutherland, Walter Matthau, Jack Lemmon, Joe Pesci, Ed Asner, Brian Doyle-Murray, and Sissy Spacek appear in this 1991 film. Gary Oldman, Laurie Metcalf, and Tommy Lee Jones have more major r�les. Kevin Bacon plays Willie O’Keefe and, more importantly to players of "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon," Kevin Bacon costars with a huge number of actors including John Candy. The actual plot of the film is part fact and part speculation on the part of the director and former New Orleans District Attorney Jim Garrison. FTP, name this 3-hour-plus Oliver Stone drama starring Kevin Costner as Jim Garrison.

Answer: JFK

(Music — JH)

11. Tossup: This musician goes by his middle name, rather than his first name of Clyde. Recently he recorded the duet We’re Off to See the Wizard with Jewel for their appearance in TNT’s "The Wizard of Oz in Concert." He wrote or co-wrote songs recorded by Warren Zevon, Jennifer Warnes, and Joan Baez. Most notably, he co-wrote The Eagles’s hits Take It Easy, Doolin-Dalton, and James Dean. FTP, name this artist who, over the past twenty-five years, has recorded such hits as Lawyers in Love, Running on Empty, Stay, and Doctor My Eyes.

Answer: (Clyde) Jackson Browne

(Hedonism: Food and Drink — AP)

12. Tossup: Coca-Cola marketing chief Sergio Zyman is best-known as the man behind the new-age Fruitopia juice drinks. However, he also created a cola that began test marketing in 1994. This alternative drink mixed Socialist propaganda, senseless optimism, and industrial gray labels to create an image designed to appeal to Gen X consumers. FTP, name this soda that failed to reach any market at all, doing worse than its name implies.

Answer: OK soda


(TV: Current TV — JH)

13. Tossup: Joe in Joe’s Apartment, Carl Arbegast in Sneakers, Clarke "Mouth" Devereux from The Goonies, and Wesley Crusher from the TV series Star Trek: The Next Generation. These four characters were played, respectively, by Jerry O’Connell, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, and Wil Wheaton. Fortunately, these four actors have only appeared together once — as Vern Tessio, Chris Chambers, Teddy Duchamp, and Gordie Lachance. FTP, name the movie in which these characters go searching for the missing body of a local teenager — by the way, it’s also the title of a song by Ben E. King.

Answer: Stand by Me

(Hedonism: Sex and Porn — JH)

14. Tossup: Joe Young is a young Mormon actor whose LA preaching falls on deaf ears. Purely by accident, he is chosen to star in a new movie by the well-known director Maxxx Orbison. Joe befriends Ben Chapleski — the actor who plays his sidekick — who also happens to be an inventor. Once we learn what Ben’s ray-gun does and Joe’s girlfriend Lisa sees Joe’s low-budget movie in the video store, the hilarity ensues. FTP, name this movie — the chronicles of a porn na�f — a soon-to-be-released-in-the-U.S. NC-17 film by Trey Parker.

Answer: Orgazmo

(Science: True Stuff: Weird Science, Bizarre Biology, Brady Physics, and Alchemy — AP)

15. Tossup: On 3 October 1998, in a suburb of Tacoma, WA, an eight-year-old boy's pet refused to let his owner's prodding finger go. It took a team of firefighters and a shot of nitrus oxide to pry the pet off of the boy’s finger. Strangely enough, Boxer never had the finger in his mouth or any of his appendages. Boxer was, FTP, what type of animal, which can clamp down their top and bottom shells on intruding fingers?

Answer: box turtle (prompt on turtle)

(Trash Literature — AP)

16. Tossup: He is the son of a Betan expeditionary force captain and the Butcher of Komarr. His growth was stunted in the womb by a gas bombing, causing him to be reviled on his home planet of Barrayar. FTP, name this hero of many Lois McMaster Bujold novels, including Borders of Infinity and Brothers in Arms.

Answer: Miles Vorkosigan (prompt on Vorkosigan)

(Science: Fake Stuff: Pseudo-Science, Hoaxes and Fraud, and Believe It or Not — AP)

17. Tossup: In 1869, a large block of gypsum was secret moved from Iowa to Upstate New York. There it was carved and buried under a farmer's field. When it was disinterred about a year later, the statue toured the nation for three months as a scientific wonder. FTP, name this ten-foot tall "petrified prehistoric man," really created by George Hull.

Answer: The Cardiff Giant

(Trash Literature — MK)

18. Tossup: This book, published in April 1998, contains only a few passages of new material, in particular, a short biography of Ray Miller and an analysis of the 1997 American League Championship Series. For the most part, the book contains passages written over the past twenty years for the Chicago Tribune, The Washington Post, and Newsweek. FTP, name this book, the latest edition to the baseball literary landscape from conservative commentator George F. Will.

Answer: Bunts

(Social Phenomena — AP)

19. Tossup: In 1975 Bonnie Nettles helped form "Human Individual Metamorphosis," a cult which eventually died out. A few members changed their names and formed a new cult, members of which apparently like purple cloth and Nike sneakers. FTP, name this wacky cult, whose members were found only wearing sneakers and purple cloths after a mass suicide triggered by the passing of comet Hale-Bopp.

Answer: Heaven’s Gate

(Interactive Amusements — AP)

20. Tossup: According to ABC News, this fakery was "aimed at fooling more people than War of the Worlds." The two "main characters," one of which was played by Road Rules 3 alumna Michelle Parma, were never going to do what everyone was led to believe they were. Supposedly a rather elaborate public service announcement for abstinence and condom use, name, FTP, this web site which claimed it would follow the two young lovers up until the night they lose their virginity.

Answer: http://www.ourfirsttime.com

(The Unspoken — MK)

21. Tossup: His brother is a piano player who works for tips. He's a member of the City Council, having won when his wife announced her pregnancy during a televised debate. He's a talented basketball player, but not as talented as his one-day replacement, Kevin McHale. His co-workers include a sex-obsessed waitress with eight kids, a manager in love with her boss (Evan Drake), and a former baseball player-turned-alcoholic enabler. FTP, name this most famous native of Hanover, Indiana.

Answer: Woodrow "Woody" (Tiberius) Boyd (accept "Boyd")

(Physical Challenge — JH)

22. Tossup: FAQTP, perform the Macarena.

Answer: [A performance the Macarena, of course.]


(Hedonism: Food and Drink — AP)

1. Bonus: This is definitely a food and drink bonus — some would say both. Hopefully, you remember Otter Pops as fondly as we do. Given a color and a brief description, name the described Otter Pop: ten points for the character’s full name or only five points if you can only give the flavor.

A) (10) This green pop has a scientific bent.

Answer: Sir Isaac Lime (5 points for lime)

B) (10) This blue pop features a French otter.

Answer: Louie-Bloo Raspberry (5 points for raspberry)

C) (10) This yellow pop was replaced by Poncho Punch.

Answer: Rip Van Lemon (5 points for lemon)

(Movies: Legit Movies — JH)

2. Bonus: Name the actress from r�les 30-20-10.

A) (30) Pollyanna in Pollyanna

B) (20) Miss Carrie Bliss on the forerunner of Saved by the Bell

C) (10) Susan and Sharon in all four of Disney’s original Parent Trap movies

Answer: Hayley (Catherine Rose Vivien) Mills


(Movies: B-Movies — JH)

3. Bonus: That wacky Mahoney is at it again! And again. And again. We’re sorry to have to do this, but the only way you’ll get thirty points (and the only way we’re fulfilling our B-movie quota) is if you know your Police Academy movies. FFPE, given a number, give the subtitle of the Police Academy movie with that number. Hey — at least we didn’t ask about the TV series.

A) (5) Two

Answer: Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment

B) (5) Three

Answer: Police Academy 3: Back in Training

C) (5) Four

Answer: Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol

D) (5) Five

Answer: Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami

E) (5) Six

Answer: Police Academy 6: City under Siege

F) (5) The last of the Police Academy movies was not burdened with a number, but if you want five points, you’re burdened with remembering this 1994 stinker’s title.

Answer: Police Academy: Mission to Moscow



(Interactive Amusements — AP)

4. Bonus: Let's see who's been getting erotic stories off the 'net. FFPE, expand each of these 2-letter abbreviations from alt.sex.stories which describe content of sex tales:

A) (5) sm

Answer: Sado-Masochism

B) (5) bd

Answer: bondage and discipline (accept: bondage and domination)

C) (5) tv

Answer: transvestite

D) (5) nc

Answer: non-consensual

E) (5) mc

Answer: mind control

F) (5) ws

Answer: water sports (accept: pissing, etc.)

(TV: Current TV — MK)

5. Bonus: Remember when Homer formed a bowling team with money he pilfered from Mr. Burns? Good answer.

A) (15) FFPE, give the name of Homer's team, as well as the names of the teams captained by Ned Flanders and that pirate guy.

Answer: Pin Pals, Holy Rollers, and Stereotypes

B) (5) Homer successful motivated his team to victory by coming up with various rhyming cheers for his teammates. FFP, what fiendishly clever word did he come up with to rhyme with "Homer?"

Answer: Homer (no, this is not a typo)

C) (10) The Pin Pals won the championship by one pin, when an earthquake caused by Otto knocked down two pins. Otto brought about the earthquake when he destroyed a coin-operated game while trying to win a prize. FTP, what prize was he trying to win?

Answer: a Harvard diploma (accept equivalent)


(TV: Classic TV — JH)

6. Bonus: Name the actor from r�les 30-20-10.

A) (30) Cobra in the movie McHale’s Navy

B) (20) Manny Cordoba on The Single Guy

C) (10) Lt. Comdr. Quinton McHale on the TV series McHale’s Navy

Answer: (Ermes Effron) "Ernest" Borgnine


(Sports: Legit Sports — MK)

7. Bonus: Identify these athletes who made asses of themselves in sports not really their own, for the stated number of points.

A) (10) FFPE, name the two basketball players, who between them own five championship rings and one endorsement deal with Rogaine, that "fought" against each other in a tag team professional wrestling match soon after the NBA Finals were completed.

Answer: Dennis Rodman and Karl "The Mailman" Malone

B) (10) FTP, name the former New York Jet linebacker, holder of both the NFL single-season sack record and divorce papers from Brigette Nielsen, who embarrassed himself in the boxing ring in the early 90's, often being accused of throwing fights.

Answer: Mark Gastineau

C) (15) F15P, name the former NFL semi-star that actually went on to a somewhat successful boxing career, losing a heavyweight title fight against Larry Holmes. He also is an accomplished actor, appearing in such classic movies as Diggstown and Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol.

Answer: Randall "Tex" Cobb


(Physical Challenge — JH)

8. Bonus: Our physical challenge bonus was going to a FTPE-perform-the-following-things-from-The-World’s-Strongest-Man-type thing. But then we realized our budget wasn’t in the multiple-thousands. Then we thought about some sort of Double Dare! rip-off, but we realized that our budget wasn’t even out of the multiple-dollar range. Then we realized we could do a Late Night with David Letterman’s "Stupid Human Tricks" rip-off for free. FTPE, have someone on your team perform each of the following acts — you may use different people for each part.

A) (10) Sit in a full-lotus position

Answer: [Sitting in a full-lotus position, of course]

B) (10) Place at least one foot behind your head.

Answer: [Placing at least one foot behind their head, of course]

C) (10) [Moderator: place beer in front of team.] You have four seconds from when you open the beer in front of you to finish it. You may opt not to attempt this and take no points, but if you vomit, you lose ten points.

Answer: [Finish beer in four seconds, of course]

(Sports: Spectacles and Mayhem — MK)

9. Bonus: Remember the good old days, when the Rams actually had a winning record? Yes, that's right, it's the ‘80’s! Answer these questions about the 1980’s Los Angeles Rams, for the stated number of points.

A) (5) FFP, name the former Rams running back who still holds the official NFL record for rushing yards in a season, and the unofficial record for most missed blocks.

Answer: Eric Dickerson

B) (10) FTP, name the 1988 UCLA graduate who set the NFL record his rookie year for reception yards in a single game, with over 330.

Answer: Flipper Anderson

C) (15) Finally, F15P, name the Rams’s starting quarterback for either the 1985 or 1986 season. Their presence proved that the Rams must have been a truly great team in the mid-‘80’s to have done so well with them at the helm.

Answer: Dieter Brock (1985) or Steve Bartkowski (1986)


(Music — JH)

10. Bonus: "Clapton is God." But you’ve heard it before, we’re sure. Time for a simple test of your knowledge of the great guitar deity.

A) (10) First, FFPE, give the middle and last names that appear on Eric Clapton’s birth certificate. Give middle name first and last name last.

Answer: Patrick, Clap

B) (20) We all know that Clapton got around, but how much do you know about with whom he got around? Sorry, we aren’t going to ask Clapton-sex questions, we want to know what bands he’s been in — not just guest appearances. Two notes: no points for "Eric Clapton and His Band" or "Eric Clapton," and no points for "Delany and Bonnie" — that’s just plum silly. There are eight correct answers and you can earn up to twenty points, five points for each two bands you give — no half credit. (Moderator: one correct answer receives no points, two receives five, etc.)

Answer: The Roosters, Casey Jones and the Engineers, The Yardbirds, John Mayall’s Bluesbreakers, Cream, Blind Faith, The Plastic Ono Band, and Derek and the Dominoes


(Movies: Legit Movies — JH)

11. Bonus: Name the actor from r�les 30-20-10.

A) (30) Numa Bertel in JFK

B) (20) The voice of Demetrius in Hercules

C) (10) Newman on Seinfeld

Answer: Wayne Knight

(Music — JH)

12. Bonus: FFPE, Burt Bacharach, Bert Kaempfert, both, or neither?

A) (5) Appeared in a movie with Mike Myers

Answer: Burt Bacharach

B) (5) Wrote Strangers in the Night

Answer: Bert Kaempfert

C) (5) Wrote (There’s Always) Something There to Remind Me

Answer: Burt Bacharach

D) (5) Has died

Answer: Bert Kaempfert

E) (5) Had songs recorded by Perry Como

Answer: Burt Bacharach

F) (5) Was a member of Lawrence Welk’s studio band

Answer: Neither


(Hedonism: Sex and Porn — JH)

13. Bonus: Binary bonus time! The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana has thirty-five chapters, but we only care about the one on sexual positions. Given a "way of laying down," tell us, true or false, whether or not it appears in Burton’s translation of The Kama Sutra. Of course, scoring is 5 points for three correct, 10 for four correct, 20 for five correct, and 30 for all six correct (sorry, no points for guessing less than three).

A) "the yawning position"

Answer: true (appears in Kama Sutra)

B) "deer mounts donkey"

Answer: false

C) "packed position"

Answer: true

D) "the mare’s position"

Answer: true

E) "bridge of Wheatstone"

Answer: false

F) "the twisted position"

Answer: false

(Science: True Stuff: Weird Science, Bizarre Biology, Brady Physics, and Alchemy — AP)

14. Bonus: Everybody loved Mr. Wizard’s World, that early-80’s Nickelodeon staple. Not many people are aware, however, that these golden shows are now available on home video. Given segment titles from video #12 of this twenty-volume series, provide, on a 30-20-10 basis, the title of the video, also the common overarching scientific principle.

A) (30) "Radiometer"

B) (20) "Why Does the Wind Blow?"

C) (10) "Black Bag Hot Air Balloon"

Answer: Heat Transfer

(Hedonism: Drugs and Fashion — AP)

15. Bonus: Let's see how well you stand up to these Viagra questions:

A) (10) Viagra isn't always harmless fun. For five points if you're within 10, and ten points if you're within five, give the number of Americans who died after taking Viagra during its first four months of availability (April through July 1998), according to the FDA.

Answer: 69 (ten points for 64-74, five points for 59-79)

B) (10) Again for ten points if you're within five and five points if you're within ten, how many of these deaths came during or immediately after sexual intercourse?

Answer: 18 (ten for 13-23, 5 for 8-28)

C) (10) For ten points, three of the people who died after taking Viagra during this time period were these: just why they took it in the first place is anybody's guess.

Answer: women (accept "female," "burdened with two X chromosomes," etc.)


(Science: Fake Stuff: Pseudo-Science, Hoaxes and Fraud, and Believe It or Not — MK)

16. Bonus: Sometimes, the best players aren't properly recognized. FTP, I'll name a year, and you name the player to finish second in the voting for American League Most Valuable Player. If you need a short description of his or her accomplishments, you'll receive five points.

A) (10) 1996

(5) .358 batting average, 36 home runs, and 54 doubles

Answer: Alex Rodriguez

B) (10) 1995

(5) 50 home runs, 52 doubles

Answer: Albert Belle

C) (10) 1947

(5) Triple Crown — ‘nuf said

Answer: Ted Williams


(Trash Literature — AP)

17. Bonus: 1. Dilbert isn't the only asocial nerd depicted in the daily comics. Given an author, give the FULL NAME of the lonely geek found in his strip. We’ll give you ten points for each or five if you need the name of the strip.

A) (10) Jim Davis

(5) Garfield

Answer: Jim Arbuckle

B) (10) Bill Amend (name the youngest geek, please)

(5) Foxtrot

Answer: Jason Fox

C) (10) Jim Meddick

(5) Robotman

Answer: Monty Montahue


(Trash Literature — AP)

18. Bonus: C. S. Lewis is perhaps most famous for his giant-ad-for-Christianity Narnia series of seven books. These seven books are now being sold in chronological order of the events depicted, not in the order in which they were written. The Last Battle is last in both cases, but, FFPE, can you list the other six books in chronological order?

Answer: The Magician’s Nephew; The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; The Horse and His Boy; Prince Caspian; The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; The Silver Chair


(The Unspoken — MK)

19. Bonus: For the stated number of points, name these TV shows seen on The Simpsons.

A) (5) FFP, the title character once ambushed a meeting of evil guys by hiding in an ice sculpture of the Venus de Milo.

Answer: McBain

B) (10) FTP, this show features a talking, intelligent transportation machine that always seems to find a handy river or stream when chasing the bad guys.

Answer: Knight Boat

C) (15) F15P, this show about college life once featured both a bra bomb and a cameo by Richard Nixon.

Answer: School of Hard Knockers


(TV: Kid Vid — MK)

20. Bonus: FTPE, given the cartoon, name the person who provided the voice of the title character.

A) (10) The Critic

Answer: Jon Lovitz

B) (10) Bobby’s World

Answer: Howie Mandel

C) (10) Mr. Magoo

Answer: Jim Backus

(Social Phenomena — AP)

21. Bonus: Time for meta-quiz bowl! Given a definition from an online quiz bowl lexicon, give the QB slang being defined.

A) (5) From UNC Chapel Hill: [From Seinfeld] Traditional taunt made during otherwise friendly competition to a team which has failed to score any points on a particular bonus question.

Answer: "No soup for you!"

B) (10) From George Washington U.: Similar to a "Duck Duck Goose" (Any tossup consisting of a long string of words entirely unhelpful to answering the question followed by a giveaway clue), these are questions that contain no useful clues whatsoever.

Answer: Duck-Duck-Duck

C) (15) From Maryland: A particular method for taking a neg. 5 in quiz bowl, consisting of buzzing in, then sitting there and saying nothing.

Answer: John Cage



(Sports: Legit Sports — MK)

8. Bonus: Not all Major League Baseball records are good. Name these players from their descriptions, FTPE.

A) (10) This active player holds the major league record for consecutive at-bats without hitting a triple, last having accomplished that feat in 1988.

Answer: Mark McGwire

B) (10) This 39-year-old ace holds the major league record for the number of different teams to have pitched a losing record for over the course of a season — nine.

Answer: Mike Morgan

C) (10) This 3-time Cy Young award winner and Hall of Famer once got twelve consecutive strikeouts — while batting.

Answer: Sandy Koufax